September 2010
QUITTING SMOKING & QUITTING SWEARING. LADY LIKE.
From the lost in translation soundtrack, is the only song I want on during this train journey. I hate last train home blues - the trains always empty, it’s dark outside and in this certain journey, for some strange reason, an old man has decided to sit at my table. When there’s 6 others free. Why I do not know, but I now feel uncomfortable to nap through this journey, and being the awkward person with manners that I am, I don’t want to move in fear of looking rude. So I’m awake, and forced to think and sit upright without my legs on chairs.
The only thing I can think is of everything that is wrong with the place I live and how much I don’t want to go back. The last 4 days have been so good I’ve not thought about one thing even slightly negative. Which baring in mind I’m quite a cynical person at times this proves to be really quite shocking. Now I’m back to college, financial boredom, a place I have openly despised for some years now and 80% of people I’d rather noose than pretend to be civil with.
I guess I’m just tending to notice the bad things that little bit more because things I want around are far away. Be it people or just trivial things.
Last train home blues. Old feelings. Scary.
I hate that I leave Sheffield tonight and I have so many boring things to do tomorrow/this week! Gahhhhhh
I have always been moody. When I was just a little child, as early as I can remember, I have wanted to be alone. I detest crowds, don’t like many people. I used to crawl into a corner and sit and think, think things over. - Greta Garbo
Never have I been able to relate to a quote more.
” —